


24

by ana_kl



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:08:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26385397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ana_kl/pseuds/ana_kl
Summary: Mat's having the worst day ever. It also happens to be his birthday.
Relationships: Mathew Barzal/Ethan Bear
Kudos: 28





	24

Mat's having the worst day ever. It also happens to be his birthday, but that goes by the wayside with all the projects he has for class, and he doesn't even recall that today's the day he turns 24. 

He starts the morning reading an email with "Interview Regrets" in the subject line: over toast and fruit, he finds out that he's not getting the job he interviewed for a week ago, after all. He spent about four whole days on the application -- his boyfriend, who's a financial advisor and works in one of those fancy glass skyscrapers downtown, even gave him the seal of approval -- and sure enough, he gets invited to interview. That alone is a pretty big deal to Mat; he's sent out about fifty applications that go without a response before he even gets this one interview. He thought it went well too and he's pretty happy about it, so he allows himself the luxury of hope. He doesn't outright tell anyone that he thinks he got the job, but privately, he's counting down until the last day he'll be at the coffee shop he works at now and he's looking forward to taking a step closer to the kind of life he wants to have. 

It turns out that that's out of reach again and he doesn't even bother replying to thank them for letting him know or to ask for feedback on his interview. He's kind of in shock and breakfast stops abruptly after one orange slice and a quarter slice of toast, but he doesn't have time to process it because he has a 20-page sports' psychology paper due in a week and he has to get to his morning shift. He tries to write a couple paragraphs on the bus and realizes halfway to work that he forgot his phone at home. 

He doesn't dislike his job; it's just not a forever job. It lets him pay his portion of the rent he more or less forces Ethan to split with him, some of the student loans he's accumulated since he started grad school and whatever's left, he saves, but he knows he wouldn't be able to live in as nice a building as he does if he wasn't living with his boyfriend. He wants to do better -- his resume says he _should_ be able to do better (so do the professional and personal lives of at least half the people he went to high school with, as Instagram reminds him every other day) -- but he's just... not. Instead, he's living a lot like he did in his freshman year, choreographing his work schedule around his classes, only the classes are now harder and he's feeling more pressure to be a "real" adult, with a "real" job. 

So he's feeling a little miserable when he walks in to the familiar smell of espresso beans and cranberry scones: it's been part of his daily routine for the last six years, because apparently, not much in his life has moved forward in that time. He has gotten pretty good at pasting on a smile when he feels like shit though and while it's not a skill that's going to get him out of there, it's coming in handy today.

The coffee shop's kind of in financial trouble, even though it's been around for a while. They have a pretty solid customer base and Mat's known a lot of their patrons from since he first started the job. But rent keeps going up and there are only so many baked goods that one can sell to cover the costs of a university-area shop. He knows the owner pretty well and he also knows she's worried even though they don't talk about it.

It maybe shouldn't come as too big a surprise when his shift starts in her office then, as she catches him once he gets in. She's nice, too nice really, so Mat knows it's not going to be good news. And it isn't: along with about half of the staff, he's getting laid off because they can't afford to keep them on anymore, but he can still work today and will get paid. He's really in shock now and he kind of goes through the motions until his (last?) break. He knows he's not the only one and everyone else is subdued in the break room. But as he listens in to what his co-workers are saying, it sounds like he's the only one without a backup plan. One girl's working on starting her own crafts and wellness business on the side and this is the push she needs to invest in it full-time. Another guy has a job offer lined up and he's been thinking on it for a few days; this makes it easier for him to make a decision. Someone else has only been working there a month, part-time too, so it doesn't make a whole lot of difference whether or not they have the job. So by the end of his last shift ever, Mat's feeling even worse about himself, wondering if he's fucked up somehow and that's the real reason he's getting fired alongside other people who've worked their about half as long as he has. 

His shift ends early and towards the end, he gets yelled at by a difficult customer because he mixed up their order (not that it matters anymore), then proceeds to miss three consecutive buses back home. He ends up walking the distance and it takes him almost an hour because he takes a wrong turn on a route he's walked several times before. He's not really thinking or feeling by the time he makes it back to the apartment, which probably means that he's not going to get much done for his paper, either. 

He throws his bag somewhere by the front door to be picked up later, but he probably won't until he absolutely has to. After a quick shower that doesn't make him feel better the way he hoped, he curls up on the sofa and kind of like the uncomfortable burn with which feeling comes back after he's spent too much time outside without gloves in the middle of winter, the way the day has gone starts to sink in. He wonders if he's set some kind of record, having his job application rejected when he's made it so far in the process and getting laid off in the space of a few hours. There've been difficult customers in the past and Mat's usually pretty good at brushing it off, but today's not one of those days and getting yelled at for using whole instead of skim milk bothers him more today than it usually does. He wonders if he's being oversensitive -- maybe that's why he's not getting anywhere in life -- and he really feels like a loser. He's not crying (yet), but he feels like he might, so he grabs his phone and sees what he's missed. 

He's missed a lot -- he has over thirty unread texts and almost half of them are from Ethan, so he starts with those, panicking a little. Then he realizes that he's an absolute idiot, in addition to being a loser. 

_**Ethan <3 (8:00) **  
Happy birthday babe!!! _🤗🎉😊

 _ **Ethan <3 (8:01) **_  
_you're the best & i love you so much _😘😘💕💕

 _ **Ethan <3 (10:17) **_  
_i should b done all my meetings by 5  
i made reservations at your fav place for 7pm _😉

_**Ethan <3 (12:05) ** _   
_You get off work at 5:30 right? i should be done by 5-ish, i can come pick you up?_

_**Ethan <3 (14:03) ** _   
_u ok barzy? :)_

_**Ethan <3 (14:39) ** _   
_got a meeting with a couple clients but should be done by 4; text me if you want me to come get you after work? :)_

_**Ethan <3 (16:11) **_  
_hey baby :)) i know it's prbly super busy at the shop rn, but just text me that you're ok?  
love you _😘

 _ **Ethan <3 (16:42) **_  
_Matty is evrythng ok? ur not mad at me are you?_ 😥😭

_**Ethan <3 (16:43) ** _   
_jk!! but srsly, are you ok??_

_**Ethan <3 (16:55) ** _   
_Barzy???_

_**Ethan <3 (17:01) ** _   
_Mat?_

So in one day, Mat's been rejected from a job, laid off from another, been yelled at by a customer, gotten lost on a straightforward walk home, made his boyfriend worry about his safety enough to have texted a couple of his friends and his sister, all of whom have sent him similar texts, and forgotten his own birthday. 

It's got to be a record somewhere. 

He swears aloud as he realizes that it's been almost twenty minutes since Ethan last texted him and fifteen since he tried to call. Knowing Ethan, he's on his way to the coffee shop and it's definitely not going to be reassuring if he arrives before Mat can contact him, discovers that Mat isn't going to be working their anymore and that he left early. Mat has absolutely no idea what to say, but he calls anyways and Ethan answers half way through the first ring. 

"Mat? Are you ok?" Ethan asks as soon as the call connects, sounding as worried as his texts. 

"I... yeah... no... sorry," Mat manages, not even convincing himself at this point. 

He feels tired and deflated all of a sudden, and he doesn't even know where to begin because today's honestly been shit and he doesn't see anything changing in the next while, unless they get worse. He feels kind of sick, although that might be because he hasn't eaten since breakfast, he feels really stupid and now he also feels like the worst boyfriend on the planet and he wonders how Ethan's not embarrassed to be with him. He hates himself even more when he starts crying because rejections, lay-offs, stressful classes and difficult customers are things that everyone goes through and why can't he just _grow up_ instead of crying over it like a child? It's just a bad day. A _really_ bad day, which also happens to be his birthday, but still. He feels like he should just get over it, but he also feels as though he's just had a bunch of dreams collapse on him. He's really, really sad and the sadness wins this time. 

Ethan tells him he's pulling over and Mat feels even worse that Ethan's also undoubtedly had a long day at work, put effort into celebrating his birthday and now he's making him sit in his car in a parking lot downtown instead of coming home. 

"What's wrong?" Ethan asks him softly and he sounds so worried and unjudgmental that Mat cries even more. 

He knows that Ethan loves him -- although sometimes he doesn't know why -- and he knows he's got texts from his family and a bunch of friends who've remembered it's his birthday. Still, he feels invisible right now and like there's not a lot to love about him. He's not good enough to get a job anywhere and even when he does his best, it's not good enough. He's willing to bet that his master's thesis is going to suck and right now, he doesn't even feel present enough to care.

He doesn't think he's very coherent, but he tells Ethan everything: how stressed out he is, how he's lost his job and how it feels like his life is kind of falling apart. 

Ethan listens and his voice feels like a hug when he tells Mat he's not too stupid to get a job. He's also quite passionate about calling the customer who yelled at Mat an asshole and Mat can fight his own battles, but it's still nice to know that the man he loves wants to defend his honor. Ethan asks him if he wants to have a night in instead and Mat kind of feels guilty, but he does. He knows that Ethan's put a lot of thought into taking him somewhere nice for his birthday, but he doesn't feel like going out in public right now. As always, Ethan's the ever-understanding and supportive boyfriend, and he tells Mat that he'll pick something up on the way back. He knows all of Mat's favorite everything and by the time they hang up, Mat feels better. 

The first thing Ethan does when he walks in is hug Mat and it feels like he's taking a huge weight off Mat's shoulders. 

"I love you babe, and I'm sorry your birthday sucks," he kisses Mat gently. 

"...You're making it better," Mat smiles, closing his eyes as he leans against Ethan's shoulder and inhales his cologne. "I love you too," he says, kissing Ethan's neck. 

Ethan cancels their reservation, but he's brought take out from the restaurant and it's so them to have food from a fancy restaurant with socks on and their feet up on the coffee table. It's kind of better than being at the restaurant and Mat starts to feel better as the evening goes on. Then Ethan goes a little quiet and just looks at Mat, holding his hand. Mat's about to ask him what's on his mind when Ethan suddenly stands up and reaches into his pocket, before getting down on one knee in front of Mat. Mat's so surprised that he almost gets up too, as he processes what's happening. For a moment, he's in shock and doesn't quite understand what's going on. But then Ethan's opening the little dark blue velvet box and Mat's shaking because he knows what this means now. Ethan tells him that he loves him all the time and he certainly shows it, but this makes it even more real and tangible. 

He's crying for the second time that day as Ethan proposes and it occurs to him that this is probably the most unromantic time to propose, when they're both dressed down for the night and are lounging on the couch. In a way, it makes it the most romantic proposal ever. 

Mat doesn't hesitate to say yes and in the space of a few hours, what feels like the worst day ever is suddenly the best. He manages to finish his paper a few days later -- not having to worry about work anymore helps him focus on what's really important to him and Ethan convinces him to give himself a break from looking for work that pays well but isn't related to what he wants to do. Then Ethan uses his vacation and banked time to take a week off from work and take Mat to the mountains a few hours from where they live. They stay in a cabin far away from the nearest city because they just want to focus on each other and the life they're about to start together now that they're engaged. It's a bit like they've always been engaged and that nothing's really changed. But it's also exciting because it's new. They're _fiancés_ now, and Mat likes that the ring on his finger catches the light as he holds onto Ethan's arm while they walk down the street on the evening they do spend in town. 

He's 24 and doesn't quite have a life that seems like everyone else's, but he also has a love that's not like everyone else's and that makes up for everything ten times over.


End file.
